by Lars Muhl
This article has been under way for a long time, and is the result of an entire life’s quest to find a higher purpose in life.
Since taking the first step on to my spiritual path, I have learned that life is determined by conscious and unconscious choices. Many people allow immediate, unconscious impulses to control their lives. These impulses may become habit – a purely impulsive reaction – frequently linked to basic human fears such as not being able to survive, not being loved, or feeling lonely and rejected. These impulses are at the root of many psychological defence mechanisms, for instance the inferiority complex.
Humans are also driven by an innate greed to satisfy the need for permanent material security, without realising that security as such does not exist. This has led to money, material goods and social status being worshipped like Gods. These God are not able to satisfy their worshippers in the long run because no matter how many material goods you obtain in life, at some point a tragedy will inevitably occur, and you see that a life simply filled with material goods is a life without real substance.
This also applies to man’s insatiable need for confirmation and aspiration for fame, which is also derived from existential anxiety. Like a Roman emperor, deciding a person’s fate with a single motion of the hand, the Facebook ‘thumbs up’ and Twitter ‘retweet’ have become contemporary primitive measurements of whether we are alive or dead, if we are good enough or not. Such confirmation is required only those who are not well-balanced, or for those who have lost faith in a higher spiritual intelligence. For how can you believe in a God that allows a world of hunger, war and evil?
Linking back to my original statement: we have forgotten that it is through our conscious choices that we create life and that every word we say, every action we take results in consequences that always lead back to ourselves. It is therefore imperative that we individually come to realize this as a fact and each take responsibility for our actions. Until the moment that we fully understand this, we behave like kindergarten kids, who are unable to solve the problems that we produce in an on-going steady stream.
In order to combat the stress caused by modern life, we have adopted mental meditation techniques from the East, including mindfulness, which has released a veritable wave of coaches and lifestyle experts. This has finally provoked a counter-wave, initiated by Svend Brinkmann, Professor of Psychology at Aalborg University in Denmark, who rightly points out the value of one being able to take root and to take responsibility for oneself, rather than turning to someone else to tackle our problems. Unfortunately, Svend Brinkmann also says that all the talk about you having to find the answers to your problems within is wrong, and suddenly we’re back to the status quo – where we were before all the mindfulness-talk. In Yeshua’s words: ‘Remember, the Kingdom of Heaven is within you!’, have been completely forgotten and disregarded.
This is the problem as I see it: there is a big difference between talking about mindfulness and contemplation, and actually becoming absorbed in it. There is a superficial, mental meditation whose sole purpose is to calm the mind for a while, though without reaching the soul’s essence that mystics have worked with and described for centuries. Anyone can proclaim all sort of statements, throwing around empty words and phrases about love and light yet this brings nothing but temporary redemption. Particularly because people nowadays tend to believe that everything can be bought and sold and that one is not required to exert oneself very much in order to reach the inner depths – which is in fact the answer to EVERYTHING in a person’s life. A superficial attitude can only give a superficial result. The search for a spiritual life is an investment, requiring the whole human being. It cannot be a quick fix on a weekend-long course, no matter how expensive it is, or how many clichés were used to sell it.
Is the answer to our troubles really spirituality and religion? Isn’t religion something about one’s faith that pleads to one’s God, while other beliefs swear to other Gods, and in the process are in a constant battle with each other about which God is the greatest?
Many people in the Western world swagger about, not believing in anything at all, being atheists. They consider themselves to be educated people who are above any kind of religious superstition. It has been forgotten that instead of the intangible God that religions argue about, faith has been thrown onto the so-called exact sciences, on the material, the dream of infinite richness, the FC Barcelona, on a political party, a new car or partner, or whatever you crave, and which the world is so full of.
Everything that cannot be measured and weighed simply does not exist. And even atheists try to harness physicist Albert Einstein to their views, forgetting that Einstein himself believed that the only thing science is able to prove is that it cannot prove anything at all and on one occasion he said: ‘The whole world bows before me; but I bow before the Master Peter Deunov’.
Yes, not many people know about him, but if Einstein acknowledged him, one should think that he was someone very special.
Peter Deunov was a Bulgarian mystic, musician and prophet who lived from 1864 to 1944. His entire life is a shining example of how we as humans have the ability to develop and unfold the spiritual potential that lies dormant within us. Peter Deunov was not a Christian in the traditional sense, but he referred to the esoteric Yeshua, again and again, as an example to follow. He knew that all of us, exactly as Yeshua says in the New Testament, bear God’s forces within ourselves, and that our spiritual goal is to unfold this power. The reports of the miraculous cures he provoked are countless, and he demonstrated clairvoyance abilities. It is not clear whether Einstein met Peter Deunov, but he did know the mystic’s philosophy, and was inspired by his spiritual work. Note: You can find out more about his work in the recent book Prophet for our Times, edited by David Lorimer.
Peter Deunov compared the human being to a gemstone who, throughout the trials of life, is slowly but surely worked on until it emerges as a sparkling diamond, perfectly pure and reflecting God’s light. It may be comforting to know that when you set out on your own spiritual path. If one believes that one’s hardship will simply cease, one must think again. In many ways, it is only then that one’s problems really set in. Without challenges and adversity, man will stagnate.
I realised this after many years of searching and studying spiritual traditions, when I was struck down, from one day to the next by an illness that no one was able to diagnose. Specifically, this meant that for three years I was bedridden for longer and longer periods of time.
While I was ill on the island of Samsø, I immersed myself as deeply as possible in the Greek and Russian Orthodox traditions. This involved a sustained practice of the heart prayer: ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me’ combined with a consciously generated depth of breathing. At one point, I was so desperate in my despair of not being able to rise from my sickbed that I played with the idea of becoming a monk at Mount Athos in Greece, where for the last thousand years monks have led a monastic life whose primary purpose is to raise human consciousness through sustained Heart Prayer for the world.
During this period I became connected with the seer Calle de Montségur, who miraculously brought me back to life, as it is described in my book The O Manuscript. But this breakthrough was also the subject of a choice.
During my time in my sickbed, I struggled not only with an undiagnosable disease, but also with myself and with God. I cannot tell how many times I invoked God, hoping to get answers of my suffering; I earnestly tried to reach agreements with God, in which I solemnly promised to be the best man on Earth if only I could get relief from my troubles. But no matter how much I promised and cried, no answer came to my prayers.
Nothing happened until the day that I was given a completely new and unexpected attitude from above. I remember the feeling of a voice inside me saying: ‘If you have to lie here anyway, feeling more pain than it is possible to put into words, then you might as well take on the pain of all the people, all the suffering of the world’. And exactly at that moment, I understood that it wasn’t just one option among many, but an ultimatum, and that if I didn’t accept the offer I wouldn’t get any more opportunities. Also, I was inexplicably aware that my yes was not only a word or a sound, but a change in attitude that demanded my whole being and that had to be carried by a completely true and devoted belief and consciousness. After my yes, the pain left me, instantly. The seemingly, senseless suffering suddenly made sense. The following week, I got in touch with the seer Calle de Montségur. It felt like an option that was exclusively determined by my change in attitude. Then, things really got moving.
It was a spring day in 1998, immediately after The Seer had got me out of the bed I had more or less been tied to for three years. I was in Copenhagen to attend a board meeting of the composer and songwriter association DJBFA. That morning, I woke up with a longing that I can only explain as being a longing for God. So I decided to attend the morning Mass in the Catholic Sacred Heart of Jesus Church (Jesu Hjerte Kirke), only a few minutes’ walk from the hotel.
When I entered the church, I saw a Vietnamese woman taking a wafer from the dish laid out for those wishing to participate in the sacrament. She placed it in the bowl for the priest to see how many participants needed service. I walked past it and sat in the back row, sliding into a meditative state.
A quarter of an hour later, the priest entered and began the service. There were about 30 to 40 of us that morning, and I remember sitting there feeling annoyed about the sound of the priest’s chanting voice, possibly because the loudspeakers sounded too sharp and importunate.
For how long this was going on I do not know, but suddenly I felt a heavy hand, lying on my right shoulder. For a split second, I sat there, as if I was paralyzed. It is impossible to explain with words, but there was no doubt that this was the most important moment of my life. It was like a blazing fire, or lightning that pierced my heart, and in a moment it set me outside time and space. When I was finally able to turn, I found only an empty church behind me. Still, I was surrounded by an indescribable immediate presence. It was Him and I had no doubt:
And then they came. Tears. Like blood dripping from an exposed, torn heart. As a flood, pulverizing the last dike of stubborn limitation of a whole life. I sobbed loudly, though, leaning forward with my face hidden in my hands, to try and stop myself from interrupting the service.
The next thing I remember is that I was in a line of people about to receive the sacrament, although I had not taken a wafer from the dish and put it in the bowl of the chosen. In the same instant I made eye contact with the priest who, almost as if in slow motion, took a wafer, lifted it up, while he divided it into two to show me that now there was also one for me.
I left the church in a glorified, translated state with a feeling of being cleansed at a deeper level. For a long time I felt the after-effects of Yeshua’s hand on my right shoulder. With time, I understood that he put a burden on me, an obligation to act upon the principles of the Holy Spirit, and through performing the sacrament that morning, I had agreed and vowed to take the burden and obligation. A few years later, another event occurred, which is in some way connected to my meeting with Yeshua.
It was July 22, an afternoon in the summer of 2002, while I was in the process of writing my Book The Magdalene. Outside, the weather was mild and nice and I decided to take a break from writing and went for a walk. I found myself on Ryesgade outside the Catholic Church at St. Canute’s Square, in Aarhus. It was open and I was encouraged to go inside. The chairs in the church were arranged in a circle, and there an elderly couple and a young woman sat to one side, as the evening Mass was soon to be held. I decided to join them and sat myself in the opposite side of the circle, as the only person.
The priest came in, turned directly towards me proclaiming: ‘Today it is Mary Magdalene’s day’, and he turned towards the other participants and continued the service, unnoticed.
For me this event was a confirmation that my studies on Mary Magdalene, which had been going on since 1988, had reached a conclusion for the present. I went home and completed the manuscript, which I didn’t know head or tail of at the time.
Seen in a wider perspective, the two events relate to what had my full attention since my return to life in 1998: Jesus and Mary Magdalene, also called Yeshua the Nazarene (Nazari = The Initiated) and Mariam Magdalene (Magdal = Exalted). These two archetypes both, and especially together, symbolize the first new man and the first new woman. This is something we cannot find in Christianity, which over a period of 1700 years has systematically attempted to transform Yeshua’s love message into a purely intellectual mental project. This is solely because no one from the theological party wanted to recognize Yeshua’s partner, Maria Magdalene’s right and equal place at his side, and refused to recognize Yeshua’s right origin and true purpose. The result is a complete alienation from a Christian tradition, called our own – which most cultural-Christians choose to ignore out of pure fear – along with a theological faculty which is purely practical, it has trained a large number of non-believers, atheist priests, to serve the ever-shrinking congregation. And there precisely is the problem of time and humanity: it has cut itself off from its spiritual superstructure.
All this and much more I have tried to compensate for in my books The O Manuscript and The Law of Light.